Friday, August 26, 2022

Do you have Magical Thinking? - 4 Examples From Childhood Trauma






https://youtu.be/fsA4oqQPIIw

Do you have Magical Thinking? - 4 Examples From Childhood Trauma Monthly Healing Community https://patrickteahantherapy.gumroad....
Webinar 8/6/22 on Family Cut Offs https://us02web.zoom.us/webinar/regis...
In this video we cover: magical thinking, OCD, obsessive compulsive disorder, clairvoyance, shame, mental boundaries, path, attachment, highly sensitive person, triggers, survival strategy, therapy, childhood trauma, toxic family systems, boundaries, inner child, , c-ptsd, ptsd, toxic parents, narcissistic abuse, healing, abusive parents, emotional abuse, childhood ptsd, repressed memories, hsp, hypervigilance, narcissistic parents, emotionally abusive parents, child abuse, narcissistic father, childhood emotional neglect, abuse, narcissistic mother, alcoholism, scapegoat, genogram, siblings, dissociation, trauma







Friday, August 5, 2022

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder



“Beauty is no quality in things themselves: It exists merely in the mind which contemplates them; and each mind perceives a different beauty.”

David Hume





Thursday, August 4, 2022

Blindman

 



  









Wayne Brady, Actor, Comedian, Game Show Host | Mike Tyson and co-host Henry Cejudo




Wayne Brady, Actor, Comedian, Game Show Host |   Mike Tyson and co-host Henry Cejudo 



Mike Tyson and co-host Henry Cejudo sat down with actor, comedian, and TV personality Wayne Brady in the #Hotboxin studio. In this episode, the guys spoke about psychedelics for mental health, growing up in the hood, dealing with racism, corporal punishment, capital punishment, pros and cons of doing the Toad, experiencing ego death, and so much more.

https://youtu.be/bZRR3VHyruE




Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Links to Exploring Markets



https://twitter.com/SirMarket


http://www.exploringmarkets.com/


Fan of Ray Dalio
https://twitter.com/fauxRayDalio


Janet Yellin
https://twitter.com/The_Yellen








https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=1913122588100071314#editor/target=post;postID=6667702326822811114;onPublishedMenu=allposts;onClosedMenu=allposts;postNum=1;src=link

5 Philosophical Wisdoms From Nassim Taleb


Here are 5 quotes from Nassim Taleb. Each quote comes from his book, The Bed Of Procrustes. The book is truly remarkable and these quotes will give you a sense of its brilliance. It's a must-read and you can purchase it below:

    “To bankrupt a fool, give him information.” - Nassim Taleb

    “True humility is when you can surprise yourself more than others; the rest is either shyness or good marketing.” - Nassim Taleb

    “I suspect the I.Q., SAT, and school grades are tests designed by nerds so they can get high scores in order to call each other intelligent.” - Nassim Taleb

    "To value a person, consider the difference between how impressive he or she was at the first encounter and the most recent one." - Nassim Taleb

"The difference between magnificence and arrogance is in what one does when nobody is looking." - Nassim Taleb


- See more at: http://www.exploringmarkets.com/2014/02/5-philosophical-wisdoms-from-nassim.html?utm_content=buffer15b22&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer#sthash.Bp8NWQGf.dpuf

5 Philosophical Wisdoms From Nassim Taleb And His Renowned Book Titled The Bed Of Procrustes

Here are 5 quotes from Nassim Taleb. Each quote comes from his book, The Bed Of Procrustes. The book is truly remarkable and these quotes will give you a sense of its brilliance. It's a must-read and you can purchase it below:
  1. “To bankrupt a fool, give him information.” - Nassim Taleb
  2. “True humility is when you can surprise yourself more than others; the rest is either shyness or good marketing.” - Nassim Taleb
  3. “I suspect the I.Q., SAT, and school grades are tests designed by nerds so they can get high scores in order to call each other intelligent.” - Nassim Taleb
  4. "To value a person, consider the difference between how impressive he or she was at the first encounter and the most recent one." - Nassim Taleb
  5. "The difference between magnificence and arrogance is in what one does
- See more at: http://www.exploringmarkets.com/2014/02/5-philosophical-wisdoms-from-nassim.html?utm_content=buffer15b22&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer#sthash.Bp8NWQGf.dpuf

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Nine things successful people do differently



Why have you been so successful in reaching some of your goals, but not others? 

If you aren't sure, you are far from alone in your confusion. It turns out that even brilliant, highly accomplished people are pretty lousy when it comes to understanding why they succeed or fail. 

The intuitive answer — that you are born predisposed to certain talents and lacking in others — is really just one small piece of the puzzle. 

In fact, decades of research on achievement suggests that:
successful people reach their goals not simply because of who they are, but more often because of what they do.

Nine Things Successful People Do Differently:


1. Get specific. When you set yourself a goal, try to be as specific as possible.

"Lose 5 pounds" is a better goal than "lose some weight," because it gives you a clear idea of what success looks like.

Knowing exactly what you want to achieve keeps you motivated until you get there. 

Also, think about the specific actions that need to be taken to reach your goal. 

Just promising you'll "eat less" or "sleep more" is too vague — be clear and precise. "I'll be in bed by 10pm on weeknights" leaves no room for doubt about what you need to do, and whether or not you've actually done it.


2. Seize the moment to act on your goals. Given how busy most of us are, and how many goals we are juggling at once, it's not surprising that we routinely miss opportunities to act on a goal because we simply fail to notice them


Did you really have no time to work out today? No chance at any point to return that phone call? Achieving your goal means grabbing hold of these opportunities before they slip through your fingers.

To seize the moment, decide when and where you will take each action you want to take, in advance. 


Again, be as specific as possible (e.g., "If it's Monday, Wednesday, or Friday, I'll work out for 30 minutes before work.") Studies show that this kind of planning will help your brain to detect and seize the opportunity when it arises, increasing your chances of success by roughly 300%.


3. Know exactly how far you have left to go. Achieving any goal also requires honest and regular monitoring of your progress — if not by others, then by you yourself. 

If you don't know how well you are doing, you can't adjust your behavior or your strategies accordingly.  

Check your progress frequently — weekly, or even daily, depending on the goal.


4. Be a realistic optimist. When you are setting a goal, by all means engage in lots of positive thinking about how likely you are to achieve it.  Believing in your ability to succeed is enormously helpful for creating and sustaining your motivation. 

But whatever you do, 

don't underestimate how difficult it will be to reach your goal. 

Most goals worth achieving require time, planning, effort, and persistence. 

Studies show that thinking things will come to you easily and effortlessly leaves you ill-prepared for the journey ahead, and significantly increases the odds of failure.

5. Focus on getting better, rather than being good. Believing you have the ability to reach your goals is important, but so is believing you can get the ability. 

Many of us believe that our intelligence, our personality, and our physical aptitudes are fixed — that no matter what we do, we won't improve. As a result, we focus on goals that are all about proving ourselves, rather than developing and acquiring new skills.
Fortunately, decades of research suggest that the belief in fixed ability is completely wrong — abilities of all kinds are profoundly malleable. 


Embracing the fact that you can change will allow you to make better choices, and reach your fullest potential. 

People whose goals are about getting better, rather than being good, take difficulty in stride, and appreciate the journey as much as the destination.
6. Have grit. Grit is a willingness to commit to long-term goals, and to persist in the face of difficulty. Studies show that gritty people obtain more education in their lifetime, and earn higher college GPAs. Grit predicts which cadets will stick out their first grueling year at West Point.  In fact, grit even predicts which round contestants will make it to at the Scripps National Spelling Bee.

The good news is, if you aren't particularly gritty now, there is something you can do about it.


People who lack grit more often than not believe that they just don't have the innate abilities successful people have. If that describes your own thinking .... well, there's no way to put this nicely: you are wrong. 

As I mentioned earlier, effort, planning, persistence, and good strategies are what it really takes to succeed. 

Embracing this knowledge will not only help you see yourself and your goals more accurately, but also do wonders for your grit.


7. Build your willpower muscle. Your self-control "muscle" is just like the other muscles in your body — when it doesn't get much exercise, it becomes weaker over time. But when you give it regular workouts by putting it to good use, it will grow stronger and stronger, and better able to help you successfully reach your goals.

To build willpower, take on a challenge that requires you to do something you'd honestly rather not do. 

Give up high-fat snacks, do 100 sit-ups a day, stand up straight when you catch yourself slouching, try to learn a new skill. 

When you find yourself wanting to give in, give up, or just not bother — don't. 

Start with just one activity, and make a plan for how you will deal with troubles when they occur ("If I have a craving for a snack, I will eat one piece of fresh or three pieces of dried fruit.") It will be hard in the beginning, but it will get easier, and that's the whole point. 

As your strength grows, you can take on more challenges and step-up your self-control workout.


8. Don't tempt fate.
No matter how strong your willpower muscle becomes, it's important to always respect the fact that it is limited, and if you overtax it you will temporarily run out of steam. 

Don't try to take on two challenging tasks at once, if you can help it (like quitting smoking and dieting at the same time).

And don't put yourself in harm's way — many people are overly-confident in their ability to resist temptation, and as a result they put themselves in situations where temptations abound.


Successful people know not to make reaching a goal harder than it already is.


9. Focus on what you will do, not what you won't do. 

F
Do you want to successfully lose weight, quit smoking, or put a lid on your bad temper? 

Then plan how you will replace bad habits with good ones, rather than focusing only on the bad habits themselves. 

Research on thought suppression (e.g., "Don't think about white bears!") has shown that trying to avoid a thought makes it even more active in your mind. 

The same holds true when it comes to behavior — by trying not to engage in a bad habit, our habits get strengthened rather than broken.

If you want to change your ways, ask yourself, What will I do instead? 

For example, if you are trying to gain control of your temper and stop flying off the handle, you might make a plan like "If I am starting to feel angry, then I will take three deep breaths to calm down." 

By using deep breathing as a replacement for giving in to your anger, your bad habit will get worn away over time until it disappears completely.

 

Remember, you don't need to become a different person to become a more successful one. 

It's never what you are, but what you do.







Heidi Grant Halvorson, Ph.D. is a motivational psychologist, and author of the new book Succeed: How We Can Reach Our Goals (Hudson Street Press, 2011). 

She is also an expert blogger on motivation and leadership for Fast Company and Psychology Today.

Her personal blog, The Science of Success, can be found at www.heidigranthalvorson.com.

Follow her on Twitter @hghalvorson

More blog posts by Heidi Grant Halvorson


More on: Career planning, Managing yourself






Learn more about the science of success with Heidi Grant Halvorson's HBR Single, based on this blog post.


Source:
 
by Heidi Grant Halvorson
Nine Things Successful People Do Differently - Heidi Grant Halvorson - Harvard Business Review






Stocks will not love you back - MarketWatch


Source:
Stocks will not love you back - MarketWatch



The single most important lesson I've learned about successful investing is the need to maintain emotional detachment. Any feelings you may have toward a stock are unrequited. If you love a stock, it will not love you back. And if you hate a stock, it will not give you the satisfaction of responding in kind. (As tragic as unanswered love may be, unanswered hate is often more damaging to your pride.)


A stock is like that unattainable cheerleader you had a crush on in high school. She neither loved you nor hated you. She was completely unaware you existed.


No matter how much you love a stock (and write favorably about it in MarketWatch) it will not reward your loyalty by rising in price. And heaven help you if you allow your emotions to cloud your judgment in a short position. I know of no surer way of losing your investment nest egg than to short a stock or other investment you hate.


Alas, I know from experience. I shorted the Nasdaq-100 in the fall of 2003. In an outbreak of moral high-horsing that has (thankfully) now been purged out of me, I decided that tech stocks were overpriced and needed to fall further. The Nasdaq had very different ideas , and I was forced to cover that short at a 20% loss with my tail tucked between my legs.


A closely-related investment mistake is succumbing to what I call the "Peter Lynch bias." Lynch ran the Fidelity Magellan fund from 1977 to 1990 and had one of the best performance records in history for a mutual fund manager — an annualized return of over 29% per year.


Unfortunately, he also offered some of the worst advice in history when he recommended that investors "invest in what they know."


On the surface, it seems like decent enough advice. If you stumble across a product you like — say, a particular brand of mobile phone or a new restaurant chain — then it might be reasonable to assume that others will feel the same way. If the stock is reasonably priced, it might make a good investment opportunity.


Unfortunately, "investing in what you know" tends to create muddled, emotional baggage thinking.


The fact that you like Chipotle CMG -1.25% burritos and are intimately aware of every ingredient used in the red salsa does not automatically make Chipotle a good investment, any more than your liking of Frappuccino makes Starbucks SBUX -1.78% a good investment.


Rather than give you an insightful edge, liking the product causes you to lose perspective and see only what you want to see in the stock.


How do we mitigate our emotional impulses? In a prior article, I noted that " brain damage can create superior investment results ." But short of physically rewiring our brains, what can we actually do?


I try to follow these basic guidelines and recommend them:


If you like a company's products, try using one of their competitors before seriously considering purchasing the stock. 

If I had really taken the time to learn how to use an Apple AAPL -1.56% iPhone or Google GOOG +0.66% Android device, I probably wouldn't have gotten sucked into the Research In Motion RIMM -3.53% value trap. Yes, RIMM was one of the cheapest stock in the world when I recommended it last year. But I cannot deny that my decision to recommend it was biased by my ownership of a BlackBerry phone. Likewise, many iPhone owners are probably buying Apple for similar reasons today.

To the best extent you can, try to follow trading rules and use stop losses
. What works for one investor will be very different than what works for another. Perhaps you use a hard stop loss of, say, 10% below your purchase price. Or consider using a trailing stop of 20-25%.

If you are a value investor, perhaps you base your sell decision on valuation or fundamentals rather than market price.
In any event, my point stands. Lay out the conditions under which you intend to sell and stick to them. Stock ownership is a marriage of convenience with quick, no-fault divorce if your situation changes. Don't make the mistake of falling in love.

Unleash your inner Spock. For readers who are not Star Trek fans, Spock is an alien from the planet Vulcan who is incapable of expressing emotions. When talking about a stock or watching its price fluctuate gets your heart racing, take a step back and try to look at the investment through Spock's eyes. Is it logical? Do the numbers make sense? Are the growth projections based on reasonable facts or on optimistic hope? Would you buy a different company if it were trading at the same price multiple?


Admittedly, these are not precise guidelines. But then, another lesson I learned is that it is a mistake to try to be too precise in this business. Follow the lead of great value investors like Benjamin Graham and Warren Buffett by making sure you have a wide margin of safety in your assumptions.



This commentary does not constitute individualized investment advice. The opinions offered herein are not personalized recommendations to buy, sell or hold securities.